Horrific Holiday Special featuring music by One Hell of a Christmas! and special guest M.R. Stover with musical performances by Witch Zaftig, Erin and Jessie. Unorthodoxy with Witch Zaftig – Episode 5 – Zoroastrianism and Abrahamic Religions and finally horrible holiday stories by the audience and hosts and the winner of the contest is announced.
Detailed Notes
A: Welcome to 9sense’s 2015 Horrific Holiday special. This year we are going to be doing something a little different. Some of our content has come to the show by way of you the listeners. But before we get into that, we all know this season is ripe with sadness, sorrow and depression, hell statistically speaking two people just offed themselves as I’ve been speaking. (jingling bells) wait a minute, do you hear that? (Jingling gets louder) why it can’t be!
It, It’s, witch zaftig of unorthodoxy with witch zaftig! It is so good to see you on this very special and slightly down holiday episode. What brings you to town?
Z: I heard you were asking for horrific holiday stories and though I don’t have one, I did write a wonderful carol that I think may make you feel More into the spirit of the holidays. And you asked me to be here.
A: That sounds wonderful! and a little meta/behind the scenes-y… Can I hear it?
Z: Absolutely (Carol)
A; well I don’t know about anyone else but I thought that was beautiful! I think we’ll be hearing that again, from the other 9sense contributors throughout the episode.
You know witch zaftig, I always get randy during the holidays, not sure if it’s the implied mistletoe contract or the fat man In a little red suit, I don’t try to justify it, and this isn’t the egg nog talking but damn girl, you look fine tonight, (clothing being torn away) mistletoe alert!
Z: oh my, um Adam, is that a mistletoe you have tattooed right above your (I cut you off)
A: Yes it is, give me some sugar baby
z: (slowly) Not a chance in hell.
- Walking in on parents skit
- Holiday story intro with the giveaway tease at the end.
- Start with a hosts story
- Last year about this time I left my wife for a long list love I reunited with, a very difficult change to make for sure, my wife and I have three kids, none yet in their teens. I had to break the news to them that I was moving out.
I then moved in with my new girlfriend, although we were both working, all if my money was going to my wife to make sure the kids needs were met.
So at the time I was being supported by my girlfriend, my wife obviously filed for divorce, and me having no money could not afford a lawer, so I represented myself. In that time my girlfriend got laid off from her job, and had no money coming in, I had taken my money back from my wife to try to pay rent, but by now we were so backed up that it was barely getting by. I wake up this afternoon to get ready for work to find an eviction notice taped to the door.
As it stands at the time I write this, I have less than 24 hrs to vacate, no place to go, no car and have not eaten in two days. And that’s not even the half of it.
- Unorthodoxy with Witch Zaftig
Episode 5 – 14. Mathew Stover via Facebook: 1) How much did Zoroastrianism affect the Abrahamic religions? And how much did it affect the Yezidi? 2) How much did the Cult of Mithra influence the rise of Christianity in Rome? 3) During the Roman period, before Christianity was the State religion, what were the other “competing” religious movements, such as the Cult of Isis. And why do you think that Christianity was so popular at that time?
- Carol with erin and jessie
- Continue with the stories
- Another Hosts Story
- My family used to routinely gather for holidays, typically Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, before a series of events like this one made it more of a vacation and gift to be spend these times AWAY from each other.
My grandmother is notorious for saving money any chance she can, and rather than having a holiday be an example of extravagance and indulgence, she makes it a giant dog and pony show about the many ways she can pinch pennies even harder. She is pretty well off and has no reason to avoid indulgence other than her Christian upbringing.
On this particular Christmas she had found that (for reasons that should be obvious to anyone) that there were drastic savings on key lime pie at the store. So in order to save upwards of ones of dollars (not a typo) she decided that rather than somethin delicious and traditional, like apple, pumpkin or even maybe a cherry pie, we had this cheap abomination of a pie.
Now I wouldn’t eat keylime pie on a nice spring day, even if it was made by undead Julia Child herself, but this was special in its awfulness. Because of the cheap nature of the pie, rather than being made out of real lime, or real anything, it was this Chernobyl green horror that could be smelled from the porch outside while we tried to enjoy our food.
After my sister took it out of the oven she accidentally (she swears) dropped it on the floor, covering the tiles in what looked like a pie crust filled toxic waste spill. Well, my grandmother scooped this BACK UP INTO THE PIE TIN, from OFF OF THE FLOOR, and insisted we eat it.
Every member of the family refused and she flew into angry hysterics. After twenty minutes or so of screaming at us, and the most awkward silence ever, the family decided to all go their separate ways.
So Adam, there you have one of many stories from my crazy family.
I have one about a serving fork sticking out of someone’s head, or the time I ruined Christmas by being a curious boy and picking up a telephone receiver, but I’ll leave you with these for now.
- Favorite Holiday movie discussion
- carol with darren and adam
- more holiday stories
- my holiday story
- my birthday is on December 21. When I was younger, my mom was so busy with running around like a complete nutcase that she forgot my birthday. So, what she did very early on Christmas morning was that she took one of my Christmas presents and unwrapped it, re-wrapped it with birthday paper, and gave it to me with all my other Christmas presents. Now, I was old enough to know what she had done, and I was like, “Mom, what the fuck?”
But, I guess it’s the thought that counts, right? I ALWAYS celebrate my birthday and hate Christmas, and she knew that.
- Announce the winner – R.V.
Outro
That’s it for another show, I hope you enjoyed it. I would love to hear from you, visit the website 9sensepodcast.com, and send your correspondence to info@9sensepodcast.com, let
me know of any suggestions, critiques, corrections or general comments you might have.
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Once again, thank you for joining me, and as always I am your host Adam Campbell, and until next week Hail Satan!