1. The Devil’s Advocate
Time Stamp: 11:04
- SoulSell Plus tm – Let’s Sell Your Soul
- Our dark lord Satan is resting upon his throne in the ninth circle of Hell, waiting for the opportunity to claim another soul. Will it be you who signs in your own blood on the dotted line next?
- I want to help you sell your soul, so allow me the opportunity of explaining exactly what the process is like today.
- With the digital age fully upon us, our lord Satan has developed an app available on the infernal app store called SoulSell Plus tm. Now, SoulSell Plus tm is a way of adding you to Satans que.
- You will have to pre fill out the contract, and it’s really up to you whether you print it out to sign in blood, or alternatively you can now purchase the lightning connector pin pricking system through the app for $6.66, you know, because of Satan. This system will bypass the physical signature, but you will have to have your retina scanned with your blood signature to complete the pact.
- In a truly innovative way, SoulSell Plus tm allows an ala carte style menu. You enter your worldly achievements, ethnicity, age and gender, and it will match you with appropriate packages our dark lord can offer you. There’s even a balance factor in selling your soul.
- Most applicants on SoulSell Plus tm opt in for the diamond devil level, which grants you real world success, fame, love and money. It’s the most popular level due to its accessibility and broad application.
- Once you have submitted your pact, and confirmed your level of service, you are officially entered into the devils que.
- It may take up to 6 months for his infernal lord’s response, due to covid we are forced to take special precautions accepting blood pacts, you understand.
- When your time is nigh, his unholiness will appear in a column of hellfire, side note: please have a fire extinguisher present at all times. The mighty lord satan is not responsible for any collateral damage that may occur from his signature column of Hellfire.
- Anyway, he will appear in the column of Hellfire and burn the sign of the devil into your head, just behind your right ear. We often are asked if it hurts, and much like a tattoo artist when asked the same question we must say Duh, YES, lucifer is burning three sixes into your head, it hurts. But it doesn’t last long, and with a little salve, available for preorder in the SoulSell Plus tm app, the pain will subside quickly.
- That evening you will go to sleep and when you wake, your greatest desires will come true!
- Footnote: some side effects may occur. Random impotence or frigidity. Hair Loss, rectal inflammation, minor or severe cases of irritable bowel syndrome have been reported by some sousellers, thickening of finger and toenails, horns and back scales. Call your doctor before submitting your application to SoulSell Plus tm, to see it the devils blessings are right for you.
2. Infernal Informant
Time Stamp: 15:44
- ‘Horrible’: Witnesses recall massacre in Ethiopian holy city
- https://apnews.com/article/witnesses-recall-massacre-axum-ethiopia-fa1b531fea069aed6768409bd1d20bfa
- Bodies with gunshot wounds lay in the streets for days in Ethiopia’s holiest city. At night, residents listened in horror as hyenas fed on the corpses of people they knew. But they were forbidden from burying their dead by the invading Eritrean soldiers.
- Those memories haunt a deacon at the country’s most sacred Ethiopian Orthodox church in Axum, where local faithful believe the ancient Ark of the Covenant is housed. As Ethiopia’s Tigray region slowly resumes telephone service after three months of conflict, the deacon and other witnesses gave The Associated Press a detailed account of what might be its deadliest massacre.
- For weeks, rumors circulated that something ghastly had occurred at the Church of St. Mary of Zion in late November, with estimates of several hundred people killed. But with Tigray cut off from the world and journalists blocked from entering, little could be verified as Ethiopian and allied fighters pursued the Tigray region’s fugitive leaders.
- The deacon, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he remains in Axum, said he helped count the bodies — or what was left after hyenas fed. He gathered victims’ identity cards and assisted with burials in mass graves.
- He believes some 800 people were killed that weekend at the church and around the city, and that thousands in Axum have died in all. The killing continues: On the day he spoke to the AP last week he said he had buried three people.
- “If we go to the rural areas, the situation is much worse,” the deacon said.
- The atrocities of the Tigray conflict have occurred in the shadows. Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2019 for making peace with neighboring Eritrea, announced the fighting as the world focused on the U.S. election. He accused Tigray’s regional forces, whose leaders dominated Ethiopia for nearly three decades before he took office, of attacking the Ethiopian military. Tigray’s leaders called it self-defense after months of tensions.
- While the world clamors for access to Tigray to investigate suspected atrocities on all sides and deliver aid to millions of hungry people, the prime minister has rejected outside “interference.” He declared victory in late November and said no civilians had been killed. His government denies the presence of thousands of soldiers from Eritrea, long an enemy of the Tigray leaders.
- Ethiopia’s narrative, however, has crumbled as witnesses like the deacon emerge. The foreign ministry on Thursday acknowledged that “rape, plunder, callous & intentional mass killings” could occur in a conflict where “many are illegally armed.” Its statement blamed Tigray forces for leaving the region “vulnerable” and said any serious offense will be investigated. It did not mention Eritrean soldiers.
- Axum, with its ancient ruins and churches, holds major significance for the Ethiopian Orthodox faithful, who believe that the Ark of the Covenant, built to hold the tablets inscribed with the Ten Commandments, is located there.
- “If you attack Axum, you attack first of all the identity of Orthodox Tigrayans but also of all Ethiopian Orthodox Christians,” said Wolbert Smidt, an ethnohistorian who specializes in the region. “Axum itself is regarded as a church in the local tradition, ‘Axum Zion.’”
- In a normal year, thousands of people would have gathered at the Zion church in late November to celebrate the day Ethiopians believe the Ark of the Covenant was brought there after it disappeared from Jerusalem in ancient times.
- Instead, the church had become a refuge for people who fled the fighting elsewhere in Tigray. They sheltered there as worship services were underway two days before the anniversary.
- Eritrean and Ethiopian soldiers had arrived in Axum more than a week earlier, with heavy bombardment. But on Nov. 28 the Eritrean soldiers returned in force to hunt down members of the local militia who had mobilized against them in Axum and nearby communities.
- The deacon recalled soldiers bursting into the church, cornering and dragging out worshippers and shooting at those who fled.
- “I escaped by chance with a priest,” he said. “As we entered the street, we could hear gunfire all over.” They kept running, stumbling over the dead and wounded along with others trying to find places to hide.
- Most of the hundreds of victims were killed that day, he said, but the shooting and looting continued the following day.
- “They started to kill people who were moving from church to home or home to home, simply because they were on the street,” another witness, visiting university lecturer Getu Mak, told the AP. “It was a horrible act to see.” He watched the fighting from his hotel room, then ventured out as it eased.
- “On every corner, almost, there was a body,” he said. “People were crying in every home.”
- Another witness, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of retaliation, said soldiers killed a man at his home near the Zion church. “How can I tell you? So many dead,” said the man, who has since escaped to the Tigray capital, Mekele.
- After the killings in Axum came an uneasy period with soldiers roaming the streets and families searching for loved ones. At night, hyenas descended from nearby hills.
- The city began to smell of death as some bodies went untouched for days.
- “I saw a horse cart carrying around 20 bodies to the church, but Eritrean soldiers stopped them and told people to throw them back on the street,” said Getu, the university lecturer.
- Witnesses elsewhere in Tigray have reported being unable to bury bodies, calling it an added insult. They say soldiers tell them that “no one mourned our fighters, so why should we let you mourn?”
- Finally, when the soldiers left the city to pursue other fighters, residents mobilized to bury the bodies, the deacon said.
- “We could not do a formal burial,” he said. “We buried them en masse” in graves near the Zion church and others.
- Some of the dead were among the hundreds of thousands of people in Tigray displaced by the conflict and not known to Axum residents. Their identity cards were collected in churches, where they await the discovery of loved ones.
- The deacon said residents believe the Eritrean soldiers were taking revenge for the two-decade border war between Ethiopia and Eritrea that played out nearby and ended after Abiy became prime minister. Some of the soldiers told residents they had been instructed to kill people as young as 12, he said.
- Another witness, a 39-year-old who gave only his first name, Mhretab, and escaped weeks ago to the United States, asserted that Ethiopian federal police did nothing to rein in the Eritrean soldiers.
- “I said to them, ’Listen, you’re Ethiopian, they’re destroying Ethiopian cities. How is this possible?‴ Mhretab recalled.
- ”They said, ‘What can we do? This shouldn’t have happened from the beginning. This is from above,’” indicating that it had been decided by senior officials, he said.
- He said he ferried bodies to a mass grave by the Zion church and estimated that he saw 300 to 400 there.
- The deacon believes that the Eritrean soldiers, in their hunt for Tigray fighters, have killed thousands more people in villages outside Axum. “When they fight and lose, they take revenge on the farmers and kill everyone they can find,” he said. “This is what we’ve seen in the past three months.”
- Getu echoed that belief, citing his uncle, who survived such a rural confrontation.
- The deacon has not gone to the villages outside Axum. His work remains with his church, where services continue even as he says the Tigray conflict is as fierce as ever.
- “We’re also protecting the church,” he said. “Even now, I’m talking to you from there. We are not armed. What we do is mostly watching. And, of course, praying that God protects us.”
3. Creature Feature
Time Stamp: 42:25
- Danzig 4P
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danzig_4
- fourth studio album by American heavy metal band Danzig.
- Released in 1994, it was the band’s final album on American Recordings, and the last to feature the original lineup of John Christ (guitar), Eerie Von (bass), and Chuck Biscuits (drums).
- Danzig 4 followed 1993’s highly successful Thrall: Demonsweatlive EP and singer Glenn Danzig’s 1992 instrumental solo effort, Black Aria.
- It had no title on printer, but Danzig allowed a sticker reading “Danzig 4” to be placed on the album’s cellophane wrapper in both the vinyl and CD formats.
- To the right of the “4” is a tiny uppercase letter “P”, in reference to the Four P movement. The following information was supplied by American Recordings in 1994:
- “The Four P movement is an alleged Satanic cult operating throughout the United States. An offshoot of the notorious Process Church of the Final Judgment, the Four P movement takes its name from the Process’ original sigil: a swastika-like form composed of four interlocking Ps. The Four P movement was supposedly begun in 1967, and has been connected to a number of ritual killings across the country, including the Son of Sam killings in New York and the Manson Family murders in California.”[2]
- “Invocation” and is “about a demon fucking somebody.”[6] The song is inspired by a black mass Danzig claims to have heard at the Magickal Childe occult emporium in New York.[7] “Invocation” includes a Gregorian chant,[8] and instrumental tracks that are unique to the song
- CD players that display the “current track number” and “total disc time elapsed” in minutes thus read 66 61:38 on the display as the final track starts. This is perhaps an intentional reference to The Number of the Beast and the song “We Are 138” that Danzig wrote during his days in the Misfits.
- Inspired by accusations that their songs contained hidden Satanic messages, the guitar tracks for “Cantspeak” are those of “Let It Be Captured” played in reverse
- The album cover features artwork by Glenn Danzig. Glenn Danzig has referred to the symbols on the album cover as “Vehmic runes” that spell out “Danzig”.[14] They were taken from the alphabet of a secret tribunal group from Medieval Germany called the Vehmgericht.