In Memoriam
Thomas Campbell
1952-1996
I have a troubled relationship with my father. Yes he gave me life, yes he was absent from most of my formative years, but he was my father. I dreamed of having a meaningful father-son relationship with him growing up.
When I finally tracked him down after I graduated high school, I let him know who I was, his son who loved him despite his absence and lack of communication. Then I let him know that I was a Satanist. I had been self identifying for a couple years, and thought it created a rift between my mother and stepfather, I figured my birth father would have more perspective, after all he was my dad, and I was his son.
He told me that if he was in my life he would have slapped that nonsense out of me. I never spoke to him again. About a year later, he died.
My earliest memories were of him beating my mother, but loving me. On the rare occasion he did visit, I was on cloud 9. He would push my sister’s away so he could put me on his lap. He was a country singer and wrote a song for me that he would sing. Reflecting on those memories made the rejection later in life that much worse.
I have dealt with those emotions and though it hurt me for years, I can’t help but love him for the good memories, for the life that I have, and for the lessons he taught me.
I love you dad. The best of you will forever live on in my memory. All the bad is buried with you, that was your burden to bear.